Hi, i'm Claudine! Freshman at Whitney High School, reppin' the class of 2012. God, family, and friends mean the world to me. I love reading books, especially if they're interesting. I couldn't imagine life without music, it really is my therapy. Bonding makes my day & i appreciate people who go out of their comfort zone to act like their selves with no restraint.

Linkage

Alice
Isabel
Joe
Kathy
Marissa
Michele
Michelle
Ralph
Sarah
Tiffany

May 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 January 2011 March 2011 May 2011

Lovedrops♥
x x x x

it seems so crazy that although i have a million things to do, i'm choosing to let out my thoughts here first. it's been awhile since i blogged but it just seems like i've reached a milestone, and i want to remember and cherish this moment. for the longest time i've been in disagreement with who i am and who i've become. i let all my doubts, fears, and self hate shape me into someone not real. i've been hurt so much by so many people that i've tried to become someone who will not disappoint. i put up so many walls to protect myself and in turn only show a bubbly personality that will please people. but tonight, everything changed. these past couple of weeks, i've been learning more and more about myself, trying to love me for me, the real me. and tonight was my biggest lesson of all. i love myself. i can honestly truly say that if i look at a mirror, i am no longer ashamed of what i see. instead i am proud. coming from love, speaking my truth no matter how scary, helping other people, that is who i am. that is who i want to continue to be. i am tired of pretending, of hiding who i am, and i realize that i shouldnt. God made me to be exactly how i am right now, i do not need to be perfect, do not need to fit that image that i have put in my head as "right". being who i am is reciprocating God's gift. i will come from love in all the ways i know how, and i will try to stay away from fear as much as possible

i am the most selfish and complicated person i know.

that being said, i guess i have to start working on accepting it! it seems like i find more things i dislike about myself everyday -_- why am i never content =/ sighh life is seriously such a mystery. especially when it comes to your relationships with others. i wish we didn't have those "i miss you" conversations and not do anything about it. it's kind of sad how much a relationship can change.. i mean it makes me wonder, do we ever really know anyone? on a bright note, i'm more certain about what i want to be in the future! i seriously hope i don't become one of those people who just make plans but are too scared to do it or say that there's not enough time because that is just bullshit. we have all the time in the world to do anything we wanna do and be anyone we wanna be. we always just end up scaring ourselves out of it. or at least that's true for my case. i'm finding more outlets which is good.. but sometimes it's hard not to depend on people too. but then there's always something that goes wrong. ughh balance is seriously so hard ): i think i've complained about that in like, my last 5 posts lol. i'm so easily let down. i keep giving myself to everything and everyone. it's like a disaster waiting to happen. when did i change so much? when did i settle into becoming the person i am now? i'm not sure i like it. actually, i'm pretty sure i don't. it's not that i think i'm a bad person, i just lack the self confidence because of the indirect constant put downs. a lot of them encouraged by me -_- I AM SUCH A CONTRADICTION, holy. this is a really random rant.. but just my train of thought for the past few days.