Friday, August 15, 2008
♥
12:40 AM
I'm so frustrated. I feel so out of it, and completely not myself. I realized how far I've grown apart from my friends, and i hate it. I don't know, like today, i stayed after volleyball for like the first time ever, and it was weird cause as much as i wanted to talk to everyone, i couldn't open up, and i couldn't be myself. It was like meeting them all over again and not knowing each other. There's only like.. 5 people there who actually talk to me & tries to make a conversation. I thought I was excited to start new with freshman year, but i have absolutely no confidence now. I wish i could just do or say whatever without caring what anyone thinks, but i cant. and with this one person, i hate what's happening with our friendship. I wanna try, but I just freeze up when im around her. Everything's so different, and I honestly have no idea how things are gonna end up. I don't wanna let go and end everything, but it's getting too frustrating.. too confusing. And to make things worse, i got into a fight with my dad again today, there's so much tension between us right now, but hopefully things get better. I can't wait till vacation where i can just forget everything. okay, sorry for being depressing and totally venting out here. Today was the last day of practice for volleyball this weeek! woohoooo. it wasn't that tiring, but i accidentally bumped the ball on my thumb bone thing too many times and now i think there's a bruise cause it hurts when i move it around and stuff. Then I slept from like 12 to 5. Oh, and I just watched Penelope! that movie was so cuute, i liked it. (: Okay, well i'm gonna go watch more olympics. The gymnists are so freaking crazy goood. ahah. Night!