Thursday, October 30, 2008
it just never ends, does it? ♥
11:54 PM
I hate how my life is a constant roller coaster.
I hate how a nice action is responded to with a bitchy one.
I hate how we cant all just be truly real to each other.
I hate how one little thing can ruin your whole day.
I hate how I let things build up and it gets so much worse.
I hate how nobody even gives a shit.
I hate how how one moment, everything's good and the next, everything's falling apart.
I hate thinking about my mistakes and letting it bring me down.
I hate how I care too much.
I hate how I can't just let free and say whatever the hell i want when i want.
I hate how some people need to step on others in order to feel good about themselves.
I hate how fast things are changing.
I hate how people turn out to be so much different than i really think.
I hate how i'm so freaking naive.
I hate how I lie to myself, how i know the truth but convince myself otherwise.
I hate this. It's all just bullshit.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
♥
12:07 AM
I just realizedd that the gaps between my blogs are getting longer each time. I dont know, i like, loook at everyone else's everyday, buut i get too lazy to update mine, or i dont have time. i wish i could update more daily. but anywaaaaays, here's one coming up! :)
LAST WEDNESDAY: we had a home spirit game against oxforddd & we won! heeck yeaaah. it was crazy intense, first game we lost, second game we won, and third game went up to tie 13 to 13. close, huh? but i think its the funnest game we've played, cause there were sooo much more people than usual, and it was so much louder. i guess cause its oxford. :) i think that's the best game i've played this season. which isnt really saying much cause i usually mess up alot. hahaha.
THURSDAY & FRIDAY: shoooot, busiest days so far this year i think. so much going on those days. thursday, i hadd amri & i went to the library to work on our spanish project, and i saw like. 10 or more whitney people from our grade there. haha. then i had a math test. Friday, amritaaa & i haddd our spanish presentation. it was okaaaaay, i guess. others were really funnny & creative. :) theeen i had a science test, and everyone was freaking out cause it was a really long & complicated chapter. Then, we had an away game against bretheren christian at the warrior center. but everything was so rushed cause we only had like 10 minutes to warm up & do arm warm ups & yeaaaah. we lost, so saddd cause so far before that game, we were undefeated in all our league games. =( whatever. then i went to fall ball dance! i dont know, i didnt really like it, it was kinda boring & the maze was pretty lame. and the DJ! oh my gosh. buuut i know junior class worked hard on it. so it's okay. :)
SATURDAY: I woke up at freaking 1 in the afternoon. haha, i was so tired. then i did laundry with my sisters till 4 ish? then i went to octoberfest! which was extremely, super duper fun! it was me, andrea, erika, dana, stephanie, marissa, charleen & we were with kevin & daniel david at first, and akshay and jonathan smith came after. buuut i think they left early. anyways, i spent 4 bucks for 4 tickets to go on kamikazee. i think it was worth it. so fuuun, i kept screaming to marissa cause we stayed upside down for a long time & i thought we were stuck. HAHA. then i shared a funnnel cake with andrea, fun! :D passion & gabe bondoc & others performed. i loooooove their voices. it's soul touching, you know? haha. AFTER. that was when it started getting really fun. So, it was me & the girls hanging out with cody, josh, adrian, and brian, my fatima friends. & idk, it was the first time my whitney & fatima friends REALLY truly hit it off you know? they were just so funny & it felt nice to be surrounded by different people for a change. buut it turned kinda weird after. -___- ahha. still, it was fun.
SUNDAY: waited till last minute to do all homework. instead of studying & finishing off, i watched last week's episode of gossip girl till like. 2 -___- buuut just gotta say, blaire&chuck!!<3
& todaaay was okaay. wasn't too bad. pretty fun for a monday actually. but we took our free response test for math today & i failed failed failed. i seriously do not understand proofs. but the rest of the day was okay. i think i had the best monday practice since start of the year. cause usually im always out of it & dead. haha. tomorrrow we have a game against sage hill & its at newport coast. idk if i should get picked up there, cause its so far away. so i'd have to wait for varsity to finish playing & we'll probably get back to whitney at 6:30, 7 ish? maaaaaaan. right now im supposed to be doing rough draft for historia. buuut im so freaking laaazy. daaaang, procrastinating always bites me in the ass.
okay well im gonna go work on it now. g'nighhhhht! or morning. :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
♥
12:19 AM
LAST WEEK WENT BY EXTREMELY FAST! but i dont remember everything that happened. all i know is thaaat it was craazy up & down. but whateeever, new week starting. ahh, i freaking hate proofs & constructions. i'm gonna fail, fail, fail. =l
this is what i get for procrastinating, i get so frustrated & panicky. ahah. oh well. i dont think its something i can change. well i probably can, but it'll be super hard. So today, i went to church & then old navy with my sisters and my mom after cause 75% offf & $2 deaals! woohoooo. i love sales. :D i got amrita's gift. her birthday's coming up in 2 daays. :D oh you knoww, we were talking about how i always mistake what people say, like i always hear wrong, and its not cause my ears are dirty, cause i promise i clean them daily, buut i told them also abouut how i was listening to my ipod at lunch with kathy fridaay, andd i kept asking her to make it louder cause i couldnt hear, and she was saying how she heard it perfectly. duuude, i got so scared. cause i think its from listening through earphones too loudd, & my sister said that her professor said that teenagers who listen to their ipods or whatever through earphones, a big percentage get deaf by the time their adults. =O soooo i'm gonna try not to listen to stuff too loud now. x)ahh, so much stuff are happening this weeek! wednesday is our last home game against oxford, its a spirit game too, so come and suppport! i really really really wanna win this game. haha. cause its oxford, you know? and its our last home game & yeahh. :) and then friday, im fshure not going to scary farm. so i'm deciding betweek fatima octoberfest or fall ball, andd im pretty sure fall ball? not 100% sure thoughh. & thenn saturday, whitney & fatima carnival! heeeeeck yeah. & sunday, fatima carnival again. haha. i loveeee octoberfest for fatima, so so so fun. you guys should come! :) this week hasnt even started, and i cant wait till the weekend.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
City on the Hill <3 ♥
12:13 AM
Another new start this week. I wonder how many times i've thought that before. after all the years we've spent at school, how many times i've had these crazy up and down moments, how many times i couldn't wait for days to be over and the weekend to start, and how many times i had to go back to it all and face everything all over again. You'd think i'd be pretty used to it by now.
Anyways, my weekend was surprisingly really fun! You know how my family & i are part of this religious community thing called COH? Well sunday was the 15th anniversary, and we all got to dress up and everything. It was at this golf place in diamond bar, but it was really pretty, and i dunno, it was just peaceful. But anyways, i really couldnt wait for it to be over, and i thought it would just be another boring event, buut it was so.. idunno, intense? it was alot of things. Like, some people had their public commitments to serve the lord for the rest of their lives, and they told of their stories, and how God entered their lives and they became incredibly close, and i was so touched, i was about to cry. I really really really want that. I want a super close relationship with God. I'm grateful for him, and everything he's done, but i always seem too busy to actually try, you know? and that makes me feel like sucha bad person. I'm sorry if i'm ranting about stuff that dont make sense, but it always just bugs me how i never try hard enough. Being part of COH really helps though. I guess through being with a community of people with the same wants and needs, i'm actually motivated, and it makes me want to try. does that make sense? does anything even make sense? haha. I have no idea anymore. When i get older, i start to question so much more things, and everything gets so tangled up and complicated. But that happens to everyone, right?
Everyone bonded alot, especially me and the youth group. there was so much food and we ate so much, i was bloated. We played with the little kids, and messed around. And they showed this kairos video with pictures of all the activities we've done, and it reminded me of so much good times. At the end, we just danced, and in that moment, everything that's been bothering my mind just left. and i felt what it was like to be truly happy. I mean
truly happy. with no worries, no thoughts of the future, present, but just of what was happening right then. If only that could happen more often, life would be so much easier to live. But life would be pretty boring without challenges and complications, huh?
Well.. back to school. Its getting kinda old. seriously, the homework, the tests, quizzes, projects. I wish something interesting would happen soon. Oh, i might go to knotts scary farm with kairos youth group next friday! but that day has so many events i wanna go to. like the feary tales fall ball, or the first day of holy family festival. I've never been to a halloween dance for whitney, and it seems like so much fun. & i've never missed a day of the holy family carnival, but i guess there's saaturday & sunday still. Man, tomorrow's early release day and freaking volleyball practice is STILL till 3:30. 2 more weeeks, and no more! its gonna be bittersweeet. ima' miss my teaaam, but at the same time the thought of a break from volleyball kinda makes me happy. dont get me wrong, i love it and everything. but still. oh but im leaving early tomorrow. i just remembered, cause im getting my 2nd HPV shot. man, i dont know if its gonna hurt or not. cause everyone was all talking about how it was the one that hurt the most. and i swore never to take it, but my sister convinced me. and then like, i was expecting so much pain, but i think that since i thought it would really really hurt, and it wasn't as bad as everyone was saying, that i didnt really feel like it hurt. you know? ahh, hard to explain. but i have to go wash dishes. so goood night! (:
Saturday, October 11, 2008
♥
2:00 PM
AHH, it's the weekend! something i've been looking forward to all weeek (: This week was actually okaaay, went by really slow at first thoughh. I don't really remember what happened the first few days, but we had 3 volleyball games , 2 league games on tuesday & thursday, and we won! yesterday, we had a game against gahr again, and we lost. but its okaay, you guys did goood. (: On wednesday, i went to the library with amrita after practice to work on our Spanish Project, and we stayed there for 2 hours, but we didn't even do anything. haha. buut i'm glad, cause we actually bonded and since we havent had a chance to talk since school started, it was fun. Thursday, we had confirmation again, and i have to admit, it was waay better than i thought it would be compared to our last one. We were all separated in teams and played against each other in games like hangman, pictionary, holy family feud, basketball, and bible trivia. It was really really fun and i got to meeet new people & i actually learned stuff. haha. but it was so laaame, cause i fell asleep and i didn't get to study for the bio & history test. =l then on friday, it was western day. It was okay i guess, i had to wait for a really long time for bangers, and thenn we took pictures at the table, but then i had to study for history and this chapter was really long, and we had to know so much stuff, so it just got all mixed up in my head. whatever, i'm over school. haha. I wish i had something to distract me this weekend, but i don't think i'm doing anythinnng. I've just been catching up on greeek. hehe, love thaat show! (: oh, i was reading quotes on xanga right? & i found this really cute one:
Her: Tell me a secret.
Him: I'm falling for you.
Her: You took my secret.
haha, so cute. (: idunno, i just love reading quotes. because most of them relates to exactly what you're going through, and it's good to know that people understand, that they've been through the same things and that things turn out okay in the end. And quotes just like, inspire me you know? haha, i know i'm not making much sense, but yeaaah.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
♥
11:55 AM
I know i haven't updated in awhile, but i've just been so busy. The homework's dying down though. But still, it's a major jump from middle school to high school. So im gonna start with last saturday's volleyball tournament. It was pretty fuun. There were 4 teams in our pool, and we got 4th place. haha. but the teams we went against were so freaking good! They were all club players & most were jump serving. freaaking crazy, man. It was hot, and we ate so much foood. haha. Our team got soo much closer, we hung out at tc after & we just chilled. & thenn this weeek was arighht. Went by pretty fast. We had 3 games and we won 2 out of 3. Coach was talking about what our "destinies" were in volleyball, and im pretty sure mine isn't setting. =l Thursday, i had some friends over to bake for kelsea, and it was fun cause we messed around alot & ate lots of foood & took lots of pictures. :D Yesterday, we celebrated Kelsea's birthday eve! It was really fun during lunch time cause everyone was freaaking hyper! even me. haha. we plaayed red rover & chased each other aroundd. Theenn we had a game, and it lasted for 30 minutes. fastest game i've ever played in my life. I went to the ortho after, and they put really thick wires on so my mouth's really sore right noww. -__- I was sooo tired after, but me & liz went to the homecoming game of bosco. It started out pretty crappy cause we were watiting for her friend, jeffrey, for like an hour cause he was gonna get us in for free cause it was originally 10 bucks a ticket. but then he introduced us to his friends & we met sooo many people. They were all sophomores, but it was okay cause they were all just so.. i dont know how to describe it, but it wasnt awkward, and i felt so comfortable with them, even more comfortable than some kids at school, even if i just met them. It was the first football game i've ever been to, but we didnt even watch. haha. Loved that nighht. I crashed right after though. I've been doing that like the whole week. Falling asleep & then rushing to finish homework in the morning. But there's a kind of thrill to it after all the worrying & finishing, you know? So life's been pretty stable lately, and i'm really starting to enjoy this year. Hope it stays that way. (: