Monday, January 24, 2011
♥
4:42 PM
I am so broken. You have turned me into someone that i never wanted to be. The more i struggle to get away from you, the more your little ways suck me back in. I have never been so traumatized. I have never been this affected. I hate it so much. I hate the way I can forget it and push it so so far deep in but when it creeps up to me, it's even worse than before. I hate succumbing to it every single time. I'm so drained. Why couldn't you just believe in me? Why did you have to constantly deny who I claimed I was? Who I'm still trying to show you i am? Why couldn't you be there for me when i needed you the most, when i needed you more than anyone? more than any time I've EVER needed anything? Why did I get support from complete strangers, when the you were the one who was supposed to love me unconditionally? Why can't you just love me for who I am? Why can't you stop trying to change me? You seem to have everything down right, yet when it comes to yourself, you can't even fathom the idea of applying those same ideas to your life. I have lost myself in the process of trying to run away from everything you want me to conform to.
Why are you so immature at times? Sometimes, I just want to keep reminding you that the world DOES NOT revolve around you.
I don't even have the energy left to write you a message. You're making me rethink, and not in a good way. I'm losing the motivation to pull through for you. I want to, but you're making it so hard. I don't know how much more of it I can take.
Do my words even have meaning at all anymore? Sometimes I really do wonder.