Hi, i'm Claudine! Freshman at Whitney High School, reppin' the class of 2012. God, family, and friends mean the world to me. I love reading books, especially if they're interesting. I couldn't imagine life without music, it really is my therapy. Bonding makes my day & i appreciate people who go out of their comfort zone to act like their selves with no restraint.

Linkage

Alice
Isabel
Joe
Kathy
Marissa
Michele
Michelle
Ralph
Sarah
Tiffany

May 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 January 2011 March 2011 May 2011

Lovedrops♥
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I feel like i just discovered the secret of life, only it should've taken me faster to figure it out because it's so simple. That's just it.. it's SO simple! but i ALWAYS make everything a bigger deal than it is, when in all honesty, it holds such little importance, it is so inconsequential and should have no effect at all on my appreciation for life. I let everything affect me so much, that i forget what's around me. i forget how to appreciate things. but these past few days have been so eye opening. I feel it slipping away, maybe it's because i'm not used to it yet, or maybe i'm just trying so hard to hold on to it, but that's just it.. maybe it's just something that you FEEL, and it's impossible to hold onto.

As the days go by, i'm seriously not giving a fuck about what other people think anymore. and it feels SO GODDAMN AMAZING. because then, i don't have to answer to anyone anymore. I don't have to constantly question everything i say, or everything i do. And also, let me just say that being alone is so uplifting and calming and just so not a "loser" thing. And when you really think about it, how many other things can be uplifting and calming and amazing and awesome that we're afraid to try because other people label it as lame? How many things do we automatically discredit because it's not what "cool" kids do? God, this world is so ignorant. I long to meet people who think outside of just popularity and academics. People who think, REALLY think, and push their limits. I want to be around people who inspire me, who teach me things and help me grow.

I've made so many realizations lately.. I never really knew this about me, but i guess i subconsciously have the need to be in control of things. But now that i think about it, who doesn't? I guess being in control just makes me less vulnerable because then I know how things are gonna turn out. But is the unknown really that scary to me? I wish i could LET IT ALL GO. the need to know everything. I mean it's just unnecessary stress because even if you do think it out, you have no way of knowing what can happen. things change ALL the time. And I think i also realized that the reason i always change my mind when i talk to other people with different views is because i'm used to people telling me how to feel. or i feel as if that's somehow a way to indirectly tell me how i should feel. which is why i'm so unstable and can get pretty damn emotional. But does that even make sense? I'm not sure. I wish i was strong enough to hold my own. I feel like my thought process always changes.. which is good, i think. but it's so confusing. This whole life mystery thing is so borderline magically amazing and frustratingly complicated.

All my relationships have drained the shit out of me. and in a way, i guess that's really good. Otherwise I would never figure out what I keep doing wrong and I would forever be stuck in this unhealthy cycle. But it feels good to take some time for myself. I'm kind of sensing who i am again, me alone, me independent. and it feels so good to figure out for myself that i am enough for me.